Week 2 ( Self Connection ) - How to Play more ?

Can you get paid to play ?

Part 1 - Unlearn being overly Serious.

"You can discover more about a child in an hour of play than in a year of conversation" - Plato.

I would say the same about you, a teenager, an adult, a grandparent, your boss, your wife - myself.

(I did put the Star Fish back for all the animal lovers out there)

I was nervous, scared and had a whole lot of judgemental voices running through my head as I made my way up to the stage at the South Start Innovation and Impact Festival, whilst trying to pretend I was calm and collected.

The Inner Dialogue at first - Liam you can’t sing, Liam you have no musical rhythm, this is going to be so embarrassing… wait it might make a good story.

The speaker, author, musician and creative specialist, Mykel Dixon had just called me on stage to play the piano intuitively and sing.....

https://www.mykeldixon.

The problem is my singing and piano skills are as elegant as a Hippopotamus dressed in a Tutu. It maybe cute but it does not feel natural.

I remembered my school music teacher’s voice slip into my head … “Liam stop messing around, you can’t afford to as you have no musical rhythm.”

I felt like I had no choice but to look like an idiot so surrendered into the fear of being judged.

My mind proceeded to go blank and then the only thing that came to mind was two verses of the Zimbabwean national anthem. The funny thing is I didn't sing it because I'm an extremely proud Zimbabwean.

So why on earth did I sing that song ?

I sang it because we fall back to the level of our training, what is most familiar, comfortable and we repeat most often.

So, because I had sung it in a hall at school, 3 times a week from the age of 6 to 12, it was the only thing familiar to me in that situation as everything else was new and uncertain. I was basically conditioned to sing it within that environment, it was the highest probability for my next thought to come through.

It made me think about what song I want to sing today that will become more automatic in 5 years time?

It shows that in extremely uncertain situations we can often tend to resort to what is most familiar. To help counterbalance the force of the uncertainty ahead.

So I learnt a-lot about myself in those short 5 mins of play, and after the judgmental voices stopped, I enjoyed myself up on stage… and the people around me were so kind and supportive that all I received afterwards was positive validation.

There are certain emotional blocks and limiting beliefs - that once let go of will allow you to play with greater ease again.

Play Part 2 - Unlock a Playful Mindset.

The place where you need to play the most, is probably the place where you are the most self conscious.

If you could create one holiday what would it be ?

I had just been called to do an impromptu (unprepared) speech at my local Toastmasters Club.

The nerves went away quickly as my utopian holiday popped to mind.

"I believe what the world needs more of is good HONEST play and fun." Let's create a day where everyone just plays and has fun in whatever form that is for them.

Why ?

When you are absorbed in playing there is a deep connection to who you are and what you are doing.

When you are absorbed in playing there are basically no mental health issues.

When you are absorbed in playing you are being creative.

When you are absorbed in playing you lift others up + Much Much More.

My one friend and colleague Joe, does karaoke once a month with friends as what he calls System of Living. He has proven to be one of the most creative and action oriented people I know, and doesn't look burnt out like he is always "Hustling."

Bouncing between deep thinking and playfulness is a key to living a balanced life.

Play helps dismantle the overly fragile ego. Some of my best lessons around tennis haven't just come from expert coaches, they has come from learning how the 5 year olds I coach, learn best. Through play, love, fun, stories, encouragement and a little bit of discipline.

The exiting thing is we don't have to wait for the government to give us permission to have some fun, or to be 5 again. FUN IS FREE. It's not the price of alcohol, It's not the price of a Lamborghini, it's not the price of anything. It's a choice and a way of approaching life.

Fun is free.

Play is priceless.

Peace is the real profit.

Yes, yes driving in a Jet Ski with a bottle of champagne whilst having a supermodel hanging on to you can assist the fun, and if you can do that ... I honestly congratulate you. However, if that is the only time you can have fun, your play level is at the lowest point. The ability to hold a playful attitude without relying on expensive external objects gives you way more freedom.

When I was in Zimbabwe, I remember seeing these kids on the street playing with a soccer ball made of rubbish and plastic bags. They were having more fun than me and some of the snotty nosed kids at my private school. Their secret weapon was appreciation, community, creativity and playfulness. Which are far more enjoyable than status games, being apathetic and entitled.

I bet you the kids playing soccer have more fun than most guys on a Jet Ski. As that little kid doesn't have the side effects of a tough bank balance and hangover afterwards, he doesn't have his girlfriend nagging him and asking for an Instagram photo to get more likes afterwards.

Now look, if someone offered me a time on a Jet Ski with a beautiful super model who did yoga would I say no ?

Of course not haha.

Fun and play are more like releasing a tight muscle by doing a stretch, or like an effortless river flowing to where is naturally wants to go. It’s more like a sense of internal freedom felt in Yoga, Mindfulness, Dance, Flow... With a focus on letting go compared to tightening up.

Fun and play are not like going to the gym and training hardcore - even though some people do find going to the gym fun like my friend Kyle. However that's not very common.

When I was training everyday for two years like a full time Athlete I started to lose some of this childlikeness. I started to take myself and everything I did way too seriously. I become purely a tennis trainer not a tennis player. This lead to me enjoying less and playing worse.

The highest performers I respect play... while being disciplined and serious when they need to be.

So what can you practically do to bring this childlike part of yourself back to life ?

Answer is Simple..........Play more !!!!

How ?

As Richard Branson famously said - I don't think of work as work and play as play. It's all living.

It’s about integrating playfulness back into your life, moment by moment, day by day.

Part 3 : Uncovering Play Practically : (Exercise).

You know how you can play best, here is an exercise I created and modified which I found very useful for breaking through some internal barriers.

Step 1 : Grab yourself a blank piece of paper / open up a document on your computer or phone.

Step 2 : Set a timer for 20 mins.

Step 3 : Start with the first question - Write or type without any filter. (Spelling and gramma don’t matter)

Step 4 : Be as honest as possible, this is only for you and no one needs to read it.

Step 5 : Repeat steps 1 to 4 for questions 1 to 4.

Step 6 : Bring and implement the playful ideas to your life.

Tip : If you can’t think of anything, write “I can’t think about anything and just keep writing” - whatever thoughts come to mind.

Question 1. What did I love and have fun doing between the ages of 0-7?

Example of a section of mine : I loved to pretend I was Spiderman, I loved to film and take photos of different things. Make images about elements that I cared about. I loved to compete in games. I loved to build different things like lego's for my pet hamster. I loved, loved, loved to dance and put on a show in front of my parents. I loved to watch cartoons, I loved to go on adventures where I didn't know I would end up. Playing Computer Games on my Laptop. Painting and Drawing for Fun. Eating Chocolate Cake Mixture, Laughing at the words poo and wee. Playing with my dogs. Inventing cricket games with my cousins, playing Table Tennis.... Getting Stories read to me as I'm about to fall asleep. Watching movies - I loved going to the Cinema to watch a movie it was like my favourite thing. Riding a BMX bike... Having an Adrenaline rush in theme parks. Shark Boy and Larva girl.

( I bring some of this magic back to life by creating videos, getting dance lessons from friend + dancing like an idiot between work breaks, watching movies, building legos = helping build a business with friends - the Constant Student, practicing speeches and stories is like performing when I was young )

Question 2. How can I bring more honest fun and playfulness in my life now ?

Question 3. Where can I schedule in Play and Fun into my life ? This could be 1 min, 10 mins, 1 Hour, 1 Day, 1 Month, 1 Year.

Question 4 : How can I get paid to Play ?

Feel free to share any of your answers on social media and tag me in your playful posts.

Remember Uncover your Truth

Liam