(Week 8 - Other). Own Your Craziness
It makes everyone else feel less crazy.
“I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different to yours” - Lewis Caroll.
Luke Smith, former pro tennis player turned passionate coach, asked me in a conversation recently if I had seen the recent celebration of 20-year-old Ariarne Titmus’s -Coach Dean Boxell, after she dethroned US star Katie Ledecky in the final of the women’s 400m freestyle at the Olympics.
Dean Boxell was overcome with joy and extreme enthusiasm with the win. (This was a glimpse of the celebration).
I couldn’t help but laugh and feel a sense of joy watching that moment.
Luke then said, “it made me feel less crazy for the overwhelming passion I felt at times during my tennis and coaching career.”
Crazy is by its very nature polarising, with some people feeling extremely uncomfortable in its presence, compared to others who are freed from being overly serious with their stiff upper lip syndrome. Now let’s explore it in more depth:
1. Navigating two forms of craziness
Jim Carrey famously said - “I played the guy that was free from concern so that people who watched me would be free from concern.”
However, It’s important to differentiate between two forms of craziness. As we all fall into both at different times in our life.
Conscious Craziness - This is done out of love and testing the boundary of what we are capable of as humans, yet it is usually not seen or accepted within society. This was evident when the Eiffel Tower was being built - for a deeper dive, check out this detailed and insightful post - “The Eiffel Tower Principle - Why people resist innovation (at first)”
Unconscious Craziness - This is done out of fear, eg. Nikola Tesla, the famous American inventor was obsessed with the number 3. He would walk 3 times around the block before entering the building, he would only stay in a hotel room that was divisible by 3, and he required 18 napkins for each meal - 3 stacks of 6. This seems to serve no practical purpose, other than making oneself look like a fruitcake.
In Luisa Krammer’s inspirational blog - Crazy Dreams: the path to the extraordinary - she summarizes this point brilliantly:
“People will stop calling you “crazy” and start calling you “extraordinary”. Isn’t it about time we recognize that we have always been both?”
2. Benefits of crazy questions?
Conscious craziness can also be used to break your friends and yourself out of negative emotional states.
Business magnet and world-renowned speaker Tony Robbins refers to it as a state break or a pattern interrupt.
In the video below the young man admits he had been struggling with suicidal thoughts.
Tony asks him, why do you hate yourself?
Before the man has time to respond Tony playfully jokes - “Is it because of those fucking red shoes! ” The man is then in shock and can’t help but want to smile. (Watch the video below to see the whole conversation play out).
On a less extreme example, when talking to a friend if they are constantly complaining about the same problem, and taking things too seriously the whole time, you can drop a random and weird question to break their negative train of thought.
Eg. Friend - “I’m so bored of homework, I’m so bored at my job, in my life …”
Your question: “Imagine you were a pink elephant wearing a tutu who was best friends with a hyena that looks like an ostrich?”
Friend: (shocked and laughs) Why are you so crazy, why did you even say that?
Their attention is off the problem and now you can help them see the silver lining more easily.
In terms of marketing, breaking the pattern to how most people are presenting their offer, can greatly increase your chances of being seen. In the bestselling book Purple Cow, author Seth Godin argues that the only way to cut the hyper-clutter of products and advertising today is to innovate something new, unique and remarkable – like a purple cow.
3. Crazy conversations can be the most connected.
“I don’t call it ‘crazy’ - I call it happiness with benefits” - Daffy Duck.
So much of our lack of connection is based on our inability to be ourselves.
The part of ourselves we are often most ashamed to admit is our own craziness, weirdness, quirks, and secrets.
Though I don’t think you should share everything with everyone. Having the ability to own your quirks, helps you feel a greater sense of belonging and connection with those around you, as you give them permission to own theirs. You may start to realise the more crazy conversations you have, the more you realise how there is no such thing as normal, just people trying to be normal.
Conscious Craziness Exercise:
1. List 10 things that you believe or do that are weird, quirky, crazy, strange?
2. Then pick one and own it in a conversation, or next time the opportunity arises.
Eg. I owned one during a Constant Student call this week, as I mentioned that I’ve found a lot of benefit with talking out loud to myself. Yet I don’t feel comfortable doing it in front of others. So sometimes on a walk, I will walk with a cell phone next to my head and have an honest conversation with myself. I felt the insecurity of being judged come up when I shared this, and then Michael Gill, tuned in and said he loved watching people talk to themselves in coffee shops, and encouraged me in a non-judgmental way to just own it. After this, I felt really at home within the conversation.
Uncover Your Truth
Liam.
Very, very good post